Getting to Know Me a Little Better

While there is a biography page in which one can learn a little bit on who the authors of this genius blog are, I figured you might want even more personal information on the men bringing light into your dark world, explaining everything you have questions on. So I decided to fill out a questionnaire filled with 100 personal questions to help you get to know me, Samuel Herron.

1. Real name →Samuel Robespierre Herron; My mother was 20 when she had me and was obsessed with the French Revolution at the time.
2. Nickname(s)→ annieboo, Samoset, Colonel Sanders, Playful Pablo
3. Zodiac sign → Condor
4. Male or female → After much deliberation, about 10 years ago I decided Male
5. Elementary → Liberty Elementary, followed by Franklin Elementary
6. Middle School → Freedom Middle
7. High School→ Franklin High School
8. Hair color →Puce
9. Long or short → 3rd vertebrae
10. Loud or Quiet → Most of the time I am loud unless it isn't very good
11. Sweats or Jeans → I prefer sweatjeans. Edison invented them.
12. Phone or Camera → Television
13. Health freak →I drink, I smoke, and I love Philly Cheesesteaks
14. Drink or Smoke? → BOTH. And let me say, a meerschaum pipe with Butera's Latakia Blend # 1 and a nice Laphroiag scotch is where it's at
15. Do you have a crush on someone? →I do. The god of Nolej.
16. Eat or Drink →uh.... Both?? Kind of go hand in hand most of the time.
17. Piercings → One through my weenus
18. Tattoos →Just one. A dragon across my chest clutching a rocket ship above my heart with the inscription in Olde English "Colonel Sanders - Captain on this ship to the stars"
HAVE YOU EVER?
19. Been in an airplane→ Yes.
20. Been in a relationship → One time I tried it. Much like my first bout with cocaine, I woke up dizzy and craving love and Waffles. Never tried it after that.
21. Been in a car accident → Three. One by me ramming a guy. One by a girl ramming me then thinking I was at fault. ANd then I got hit by a drunk driver.
22. Been in a fist fight →Yes. several times. In first grade I fought a guy for being annoying, then my brother and I fought some Kurdish refugees in from Iraq. Then in 6th grade I got in two more. One was while playing "Smear the Queer" a kid bit my ankle so I pummeled his face in, then the other was while arguing over a pass interference I told a kid His Grandma was a loser so he punched me and we began to fight.
FIRSTS:
23. First piercing → Weenus
24. First best friend → A kid in Kindergarten named Brian. He now goes by Samir Al-Muhadijna. Weird kid.
25. First award → Biggest cock of my First Grade Class.
26. First crush → A girl who later died of a heroine overdose.
28. First big vacation → Disneyworld.
LASTS:
29. Last person you talked to → Simon Douglas.
30. Last person you texted → Simon Douglas.
31. Last person you watched a movie with → Christina
32. Last food you ate → Chicken basket from Dairy Queen. They forgot the damn Sawmill Gravy too, lazy ingrates.
33. Last movie you watched → I Accuse My Parents
34. Last song you listened to → Love Me Tender. Elvis speaks to my soul.
35. Last thing you bought → Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles IV: Turtles in Time
036. Last person you hugged → I don't hug often. It's gay.
FAVES:
37. Food → Philly Cheesesteak. Wit Wiz.
38. Drinks →Laphroiag. Tooheys New.
39. Clothing → Spandex.
40. Books → The novelization of Tremors 4: Back 4 More
41. Musics → Elvis. HE IS A MOUNTAIN AMONGST MOLEHILLS.
42. Flower → Black Iris
43. Colors → Purple
44. Movies → Tremors 4: Back 4 More
45. Positions → Reverse cowgirl
46. Subjects → History of the Kama Sutra
IN 2008..... I
47. [X] kissed in the snow
48. [no, it's gay] celebrated Halloween
49. [yep, those damn Ravens] had your heart broken
50. [X] went over the minutes on your cell phone
51. [X - Every day] someone questioned your sexual orientation
52. [X - Literally though. Not figuratively ] came out of the closet
53. [ I'm a guy] gotten pregnant
54. [It's illegal ] had an abortion
55. [X - Watched Love Actually] done something you've regretted
56. [X] broke a promise
57. [X] hid a secret
58. [X] pretended to be happy
59. [X - Robert Redofrd is an inspiring human] met someone who changed your life
60. [X] pretended to be sick
61. [X] left the country
62. [X] tried something you normally wouldn't try and liked it
63. [No] cried over the silliest thing
64. [No way] ran a mile
65. [X - it was so gr8. I luvd it :) ] went to the beach with your best friend(s)
66. [ ]stay single the whole year
CURRENTLY:
67. Eating →I'm typing on the computer, dumbass survey...
68. Drinking → See #67
69. I'm about to → go back to work? maybe? nah...
70. Listening to → So apparently I should be eating, drinking, and listening to music while filling this out.
71. Plans for today → Graceland
72. Waiting for → Elvis to come back
YOUR FUTURE:
73. Want kids? → Yes, then I want to stab myself in the crotch. After that, I want China to invade.
74. Want to get married? → I love Freedom.... so... No
75. Careers in mind → Dental hygienist!!
WHICH IS BETTER WITH GIRL/BOY?
76. Lips or eyes → Lips. Eyes don't give blowjobs.
77. Shorter or taller? → Average.
78. Romantic or spontaneous → Neither. Both sound mind numbingly horrible.
79. Nice stomach or nice arms → Both are a requisite.
80. Sensitive or loud → How are these related? That's as relevant as "Ears or has college degree?"
81. Hook-up or relationship → A hook-up under the guise of a relationship is preferable. A relationship under the guise of a hook-up is Hell.
82. Trouble-maker or hesitant → ..... once again... what?
HAVE YOU EVER:
83. Lost glasses/contacts → sure
84. Ran away from home → Yes. I haven't missed it at all since I left.
85. Hold a gun/knife for self defense →No, I've never been to Baltimore.
86. Killed somebody → Yes. But she deserved it. Seriously, who wants to pay Alimony if there is a way out?
87. Broken someone's heart → Well... I guess my son. See #86. He liked his mom. New Xbox though and he shaped right up.
88. Been arrested →Twice. Both for attempts to overthrow the government.
89. Cried when someone died → yes. It was so sad when John Tavolta's kid died! :*-(
DO YOU BELIEVE IN:
90. Yourself → I inspire myself to greatness every day.
91. Miracles → Only in relation to me.
92. Love at first sight → Yes, I know what an erection feels like.
93. Heaven → Yes.
94. Santa Claus → Yes, but I believe he is an elitist, racist pig. Notice how kids from Africa always get screwed by this fat, white man with enough money to hand out toys to every kid he wants to?
95. Sex on the first date → If only.
96. Kiss on the first date → I usually try #95 first, and since that never seems to work out, moving to this one always seems like bad timing.
ANSWER TRUTHFULLY:
97. Is there one person you want to be with right now? → Yes.
98. Are you seriously happy with where you are in life? → I Am Spartacus.
99. Do you believe in God → I don't think it matters if I do, He's there if I do or don't.
100. This is the 100th and last. This isn't a question you stupid survey.